WHAT IS PROJECTION?

In past newsletters, I’ve discussed the concept of the shadow. The shadow is that part of us we have decided is unacceptable. So, we deny it, push it into our unconscious, and this typically ends up being projected onto the world. “Good girls aren’t allowed to be angry” we decide. But anger doesn’t disappear. It gets stuffed down and then later erupts as we project it onto the world. Here I want to summarise the great Jungian therapist, James Hollis’s, five stages of projection (This from his excellent book A Life of Meaning):

Step One. Something sets us off, and a part of us -- our energy – is projected out of us. We pin it onto someone else, or maybe a job, an institution, even our kids—anything that feels like it can carry the projection for a while. We then react to that person or thing as if it’s really about them, not realizing it’s actually our own shadow showing up.

Step Two. But because the other person isn’t us, things don’t quite line up. It’s like putting on the wrong glasses—suddenly things seem fuzzy. We might start thinking, “What’s wrong with you? You’ve changed. You’re not who I thought you were.”

Step Three. From there, we often try to fix or control things. In close relationships, that can look like being bossy, sulky, or indirect. In the outside world, it might mean constantly tweaking things, hoping if we just get it “right,” the projection will hold together.

Step Four. Eventually, the projection falls apart. The real person, or the real situation, pushes through and the fantasy can’t hold. That crash often brings confusion, disappointment, or anger. People start blaming: “You let me down. I was depending on you.”

Step Five. If we’re ready, this is the moment to take ownership. The energy comes back, and we have to ask: “Okay, what part of me was I throwing onto them? How do I take responsibility for this shadow that’s really mine?”

Here I want to add another step that can occur in this process. Other people can often sense your projections and adapt their appearance to suit them. So, when you project an “image” onto someone else, they will present that same face back at you – like a mirror. They will listen to the things you say and repeat them back. They will tell you stories that align with yours. They will mould themselves to shape your projection.

Most of us have done something like this before, when we’ve wanted people to like us, or when we’ve “played to the audience” or when we’ve been in a job interview – after all, that’s the entire game in job interviews. “Would you rather be at the beach or spend all day every day working in an airless box for a faceless master living on a distant mountaintop?”

The problem comes when either we or others make this a constant pattern. Then this threatens to become abusive – something I’ll discuss in future.

Next newsletter, I will offer you a lot of questions to discover your shadow, to examine your projections, and to begin to develop a more accurate view of yourself and your world. 

If you’d like to explore your shadow and projections with a compassionate therapist, coach and trainer, email me at rjurik@me.com or find me on my website at primetherapy.net