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INSIGHT: A MODERN SUPERPOWER

Writer's picture: Rjurik DavidsonRjurik Davidson

Updated: Nov 6, 2023

Have you ever looked back on an action and thought to yourself: why the hell did I do that? Have you ever been shocked by the way someone responded to you? Maybe you are lacking insight. In her book, Insight, Tasha Eurich argues that insight is set to be one of the superpowers of the modern world. Insight is a meta-skill that helps in your career, your personal life, your social life. Insight, she says, might be the most important skill of the modern world. But what is it? Insight into yourself is a combination of understanding yourself (and why you do things) and understanding how others see you (which means how you affect them by words and actions). Each of us are somewhere along a spectrum. We all know those people who are oblivious to the effect they have on others. The person who is so blunt that they upset others, the manager who commands from on high and is surprised when their employees resent them, the parent who doesn’t listen to their child and finds them skipping classes at school. Failures of insight make the world unpredictable and this can lead at best to misjudgement and mistakes. At worst it can lead to tragedy. By contrast, having insight can lead you to negotiate difficult waters like a master steersman: you know where the world's currents and eddies are, the shoals to avoid and the currents that will carry you quicker than all the other boats. In the world of psychotherapy, the two skills Eurich mentions have different names: meta-cognition and mentalizing. Briefly summarised: one is thinking about your own thoughts, the other is thinking about another’s thoughts. There are lots of ways of developing insight. Traditional therapy does it by a process of reflection with a therapist, an interaction where you learn to examine what it’s like to be you in any moment. Important steps can include working out your values, and whether you are living in alignment with them, examining any unconscious narratives or beliefs about yourself that undermine this alignment, understanding your emotional landscape, your triggers, and emotional reactions. A coach might focus more on tools and tasks and steps that you could carry out to improve your insight (I'll a couple of these next newsletter). In both cases they might ask you: · Work out your values. What is important to you? · What are your strengths and weaknesses? · How do you impact other people? · What particularly upsets you? · Can you handle feedback, both positive and negative? · Do you have a need to be right or can you change your beliefs? · Can you sit with two pieces of contradictory information without pushing one away? · What systems do you have in place to correct you if you make mistakes? · Do you notice other people’s worldviews when they express them? · Can you hear someone else’s beliefs without necessarily accepting them? · Are you strong enough in your own beliefs without doubting yourself every time they are challenged? Readers of this newsletter will also note that these questions are also a part of living authentically – a life true to yourself and your values. How much insight do you have? If you’d like to develop more insight with a therapist and coach, email me at rjurik@me.com or find me on my website at primetherapy.net

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© 2022 by Rjurik Davidson, Ph.D. Opening Date May 2023.

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